the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
True strength comes from lack of pants
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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