I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
