Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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