that's an acceptable place to lick
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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