Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
And then my night got REAL pukey
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize