we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
