why didn't you poke me back
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
