Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
babies were throwing up all over the place
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
