it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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