i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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