the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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