there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
