just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Randomize
