i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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