He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
How external is "for external use only"?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
