Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
