kristin has been a bad kristin
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
apparently the secret to your success is patron
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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