I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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