That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
