I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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