we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
