Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She swung at the pinata with crutches
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize