she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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