yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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