Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
then he tried to convert me to islam
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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