i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
