She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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