It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
