I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize