i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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