It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
