Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
