I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
i think my cat just said my name.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
