Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize