She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You made out with two different species that night
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
