I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
