By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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