Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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