508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
