Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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