Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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