He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
