I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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