is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize