Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I want a musical about memes.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
