i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Your dad touched me again.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
My ATM looks so different sober.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
