my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
