Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
