I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
