Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
we're so committed to being not committed
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize