They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
