Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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