if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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