I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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