you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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